Rebecca's Guide to Not Dating

(Rebecca is, in a few words, a cynical bitch. She does not like people and thus has a bad dating history. Here's some of her -and secretly some of mine- views on romance.)

Reasons NOT to date:

1. It's too much work. Trying to keep in contact constantly and effectually is annoying as Hell, and most of the time, it's not even worth it.
2. It's annoying. Some people just don't take hints and it will drive you crazy because they obviously aren't looking hard enough to understand what you're saying.
3. It's boring, after awhile. Sure, Prince Charming may be polite and chivilrous, but an awful kisser and frustrating. And when he doesn't believe in varity once in awhile, it just sucks. And not in a good way.
4. Boys are dumb and girls are complicated. This one is pretty self-explanitory.
5. The ensuing guilt after a break-up. After you break up with someone on perfectly reasonable grounds, any connections you made with their friends, family, and other connections just die. Or try to kill you. Point is, it's not good.

 If you do end up in a relationship (poor soul), you can always break it off. While some like to do it civililly, it's much more amusing to picture break-up reactions to less conventional methods, such as...

• Text them while you are sitting next to them.
• Put a sticky note on the fridge and walk out.
• Change your online relationship status to "single."
• Have a friend (or new partner) do it for you.
• Right after sex.

That's all I've got for now. Later.

-Rebecca